Week 20 - Eff Me Sideways Again

I'm a colourful swearer...what can I say?

After having not been to a meeting or officially weighing in for two weeks, I did both this past Saturday. I lost. I lost 0.6. Total officially gone with Weight Watchers 20 pounds even. Officially since October 11, 2008 63.8 pounds. New official "end date" is October 11th, 2008. I'd better have 85 pounds lost by then so all I have to deal with is saggy, flabby skin at the gym. 24.2 left to go.

I started off Saturday with a renewed vigor. Excited to once again be back on track. That resolve ended roughly 6 hours later. I just don't know why I can't wrap my head around this. I'm not taking it seriously at all. I'm sick of it all really. I've been doing this for 8 years. It should be second nature to me. Before the baby it really was a way of life for me. Most days I didn't even have to write things down. I just knew what I should or shouldn't eat and how much. It was common sense. Now I can't be bothered. I'm not even eating things that I did before I joined back in 2001. I'm not eating a bag of chips, chocolate bars like water. But I do indulge in things I shouldn't maybe more than once a week. Eating out is big. Even when we don't have food in the house I manage to over eat and find something.

I'm trying for will power and trying not to make this a competition. I'm a little depressed for what I did to myself. I kept saying for 9 months I'll deal with this weight after the baby comes. I just honestly thought it would be easier than this. I really did. I thought I'd fall right back into Weight Watchers. If only I could get into my head and figure it out...I'd sell the secret. I'd be freaking rich. For now. I vow and PROMISE myself I will stay with in 23 points each and EVERY day for the rest of this week. And when I promise myself something...I keep it.

I PROMISE.