It was here last week. Has anyone seen it? If so, please return my motivation back to me, please. Why can I not stay on track for more than a week at a time? I have not gone out for a run at all since last week. Didn't yesterday because I was tired and still really sore from class. Today, I just wasn't feeling it. I can come up with every excuse in the book. I dread thinking what will happen come Monday. Halloween. Candy. It will be the ultimate challenge and test to my actual commitment to losing this weight.
I often wonder if I am still committed or if I've become placated to my new "Mom" body. Look, I"m under no false pretensions thinking my body will go back exactly the way it was before. I have already mourned and thrown a wake for my former breasts. They were fabulous previously. Now? Now they closely resemble deflated milk bags. Odd, especially since I didn't breast feed either of my children. These stretch marks are my war wounds which I will wear proudly for the rest of my life. My nipples oh my nipples...um...let us say not the small little cute pink nipples I once had (you are most welcome for that mental image!). And my belly button. Oh! For alas, my belly button. No more ring in it for you. Time to grow up. I may be growing up and getting older and more mature, but I will fight it tooth and nail the entire way to the grave. Which, would explain why at 32 years of age I finally said fuck it and got the tattoo of my necklace that I always wanted.
Maybe it is the change of the weather. Maybe I'm getting my period. Maybe I'm a little sad because my sweet little baby boy turned 3 last week. Who knows the cause. Who knows the reason. I'll get back on the wagon and start this vicious cycle all over again.
Until then, someone pass the chicken wings!
K
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