Brad finally has a day off today. Couldn't have come at a better time too. After 7 straight days, I am ready to be able to sleep in and give some child care responsibility over to him. James came down with a cold on Thursday, so he was unable to have his planned sleep over at Grandma and Grandpa's house. Piper is beginning to sound congested and I have a sore, thick throat. Some one let the germs back into the house and I am most displeased. As much as I would like to blame James going to day care, I can't. It came on too quickly for it to have originated from a kid there. I have my suspicions. You know who you are. Yes. YOU. STAY AWAY. Every single time my kid plays with your kid, mine gets sick. NO SOUP FOR YOU!
Running has been going really well. I'm actually considering signing up for a 5k run, 2 months ahead of my goal of doing the Around the Bay 5k race. I'm not sure I can actually run the whole thing. My time won't be pretty. I'm fairly certain I will be the last person who will cross the finish line, but I am determined that I can and will do this. Brad is off that day so I won't have to depend on my parents, once again, watching the kids for me while I do something for myself.
I am once again torn between being a Mommy and being Kim. At times it seems impossible to consolidate both people into one person. After I had James, the next summer I was able to go back to playing softball. James was 7 months old at the beginning of the season and Brad and I were able to drop him off at my parents while we played. That summer I was able to feel like I was Kim again for 3 hours of the week. I was able to see my friends and let my dirty, dirty potty mouth out of its cage, tell adult jokes and not have to watch what I say constantly. This summer, Piper was new born and the games were scheduled for much later in the evening. Piper wouldn't have been a problem leaving at my parent's house, however James was almost 3 and we didn't want to pick him up from my parents at 11:00pm to bring home, totally disrupting his sleep. I missed that opportunity this summer to feel like Kim again, and in the middle of really bad postpartum depression, it played a huge part in the downward spiral I experienced for the first 5 months of Piper's life.
I may be over compensating for that now. I am torn between spending as much time with my children as I can before I have to go back to work, only 3 short months from now, and taking time for myself. I feel extremely guilty for wanting and needing to do this. I have three days a week now that I am off doing something that focuses on me.
Wednesdays are my Stroller Bootcamp. That is Mommy and Piper time. So at least Piper is with me. It isn't like the Mother Goose song time I used to do with James. Mother Goose was all at him, where as Stroller class is all about me, with 5 minutes of parachute and songs for Piper. She does love watching Mommy bounce around in class and giggles at me when we're skipping. But it just isn't the same. On the hand, I have to rely, once again, on my parents to watch James for me if Brad doesn't have the Wednesday off. I could technically take James with me to the class. I tried to do that twice, but he is a handful. I wasn't getting a good workout worrying about what he is doing and getting into. Plus I think he was bored, always asking me what he could do. Maybe I'll try brining him with me again just to see how it goes.
Thursdays are my Weight Watchers meetings. James is in daycare that day so he isn't an issue. Piper however....last week after I dropped James off at the centre, I went over to my parents and stayed there until it was time to leave for my meeting, leaving her there for my parents to watch. Came back from the meeting and waited until it was time to pick James up from daycare.
And now Sundays. I wanted to up my activity level and include another day of a high intensity workout. I love Trina and Fit4Females so much I wanted to add another day of her awesome workouts. So I am going to go on Sunday late morning now too...with some friends! But again, that is another day away and another day I will have to rely on my parents to watch the kids for me if Brad doesn't have the day off.
I think more than anything what is bothering me is taking advantage of my parents by having them watch James and Piper so that I can go off and do my thing. At the same time, taking care of myself and making time for myself will ultimately make me a better person and a better Mommy. I have more energy and feel better about myself and am a happier person after a good workout or a good run. I have been able to laugh and enjoy myself more as of late. I love to dance with James and Piper in the kitchen on the days Brad works nights. We crank the tunes, James plays air guitar and makes rock n' roll faces while Piper bops and giggles in my arms as we wash dishes and clean up after dinner. These are the memories I will cherish always. I just hope and pray that if my Mom and Dad do feel used or taken advantage of or are tired, they will tell me so. Say "no". Because, like me, they just can't say no when it comes to their kids or their grandkids. Every time I leave either James or Piper at their house, it just feels like I am dumping them off so I can go be selfish. Guilt. How do you say thank you and I love you for all that you do for us? Words are just words and can be twisted and taken advantage of. I'm a master at getting what I want and manipulating people so that I can get what I want. The sign of a truly selfish person. I don't think that is what I'm doing to my parents. If they were to tell me no, I'd find another way, someone else, or I just wouldn't do these things. I don't think that is the case. But what if it is? At times like this I really do feel like such a horrible person.
It will all be ending soon anyway. Don't know if I can continue my runs after I go back to work. I obviously won't be able to continue my Stroller bootcamp and Sunday's I'll only be able to attend every other week, so what would the point of that be? I won't be asking my parents to watch the kids that day because they'll have Piper through the week and James too.
When did life get so complicated? Oh. Right. 9 months ago.
Hey, good news at least. I've been rocking the Weight Watchers thing this week. Staying within my daily point range and only eating extra if I've earned activity points. Haven't once had to go into my weekly point allowance.
Showing posts with label Mommy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mommy. Show all posts
Monday, February 6, 2012
Friday, February 3, 2012
The Results Blog and Other Ramblings
Thursday marked the official Weight Watchers weigh in day. I gained 0.2 this week. So this means the two week total, I have lost 0.4. This is where I get so frustrated. The weight doesn't come off as fast as I would like and I feel sorry for myself and I give up and eat bad things and make bad decisions. Obviously this time around I cannot play the games like I did in the past. This time, I cannot allow for liberal points allowances. One little thing does count if it is in my mouth and portion sizes are going to play a huge part in my losses this time.
I am setting a short term goal for myself this week. I'm always too busy trying to see the big picture. Today I am setting a very short term goal for myself. Next week, I want to see a loss of 1.5 or more. Stay tuned to see if I can keep the promise to myself.
This week I haven't had much time to myself. I've been busy doing the "Mommy thing". James started pre-school and Piper has had three teeth break through virtually all on the same day, so needless to say she hasn't exactly been a happy camper. Brad will have worked 7 days straight as of Sunday. Five of those days will have been the day shift, so I haven't seen too much of him this week nor has he been around to help me out with preparing dinners and getting kids ready for their bedtimes. It isn't like I can't do it myself, but after a straight week of it, I'm ready to pull my hair out! Thank god for my parents being around to help. I know I've said this before but I really am grateful for all they do for us. They watched James and Piper on Wednesday for me so I could have an hour to go to my boot camp and again they watched Piper for me on Thursday so I could go to my Weight Watchers meeting. Stupid leader changing the meeting day on me, screwing everything up!!!
James has also been quite the handful as of late. Seems like every time I turn my back he's into something new. One day he had three time outs in the time span of an hour and a half. I think he's just testing me. I know I have to start laying down the law, I just don't know how. Is that odd? I'm horrible at discipline. It isn't that I don't want him to whine and cry, I just don't know where the lines are drawn as far as acceptable behaviour. I know really bad behaviour when I see it...James just really isn't that bad...in my eyes. So what do I let him get away with vs. what I shouldn't? Hmmmmmm....
Piper also has been...a handful this week. She's decided she's mobile! Piper can now get around pretty much on her own. Still not quite crawling yet, but she can move around like a ninja. She'll be in one place one minute, you take your eyes off her for a second and she's in a different place entirely. Last Tuesday I put her down in the middle of her bedroom floor and went into the next room to brush me teeth. She started fussing and crying rather angrily. I went to see what the problem was. She had gotten herself stuck. wedged actually, under her crib. It was a hard decision. Do I help her right away, or, run for the camera? Sadly, my better half got the best of me and I do not have a picture of that to show you.
Today was the first day in a week I was able to make it out for a run. It felt wonderful! I am now up to 18 minutes of running. Today I started with 8 minutes of running, 2 minutes of walking and finishing with 10 minutes of running. Close to the end of the 10 minutes I wanted to stop. I didn't. Apparently Trina joins me on my runs and yells motivation in my ears. I managed it and was so proud of myself! I'm getting there! Never thought I could make it this far. Still sceptical that I will actually be able to run a full 5k at one time. I think I'll throw an accomplishment party for myself when I do.
I've got two new recipes for you today too. Curried Butternut Squash and Apple Soup and a Taco Casserole. DELICIOUSNESS! James loved it until he discovered it had green peppers in it. Whoops.
Curried Butternut Squash and Apple Soup
It is to die for! Only 7 ingredients and 5 easy steps to make!
From The Best of Clean Eating
1 medium butternut squash
1 tbsp olive oil
1 small onion, chopped
2 tsp curry powder
1 tsp ground cinnamon
4 c water
1 apple, peeled, cored and chopped
Preheat oven to 425 F. Line baking sheet with foil
Cut squash in half lengthwise. Scrape seeds and strings out from the centre. Place squash, cut side down on baking sheet. Roast for 35-45 minutes or until the squash is softened. Remove from oven and let cool slightly.
When squash can be handled, scrape flesh into a bowl and discard the peel.
In a stockpot, heat oil over medium heat. Add onions and cook until translucent, about 5 minutes. Stir in curry powder and cinnamon; cook until fragrant. Add water, squash and apple; cook for 10 minutes. Remove from heat and let cool for 10-15 minutes.
Using a blender, puree soup until it's smooth.
2c serving
Calories 116
Total Fat 4g
Sat. Fat 0.3g
Carbs 22g
Fiber 4g
Protein 2g
Sugar 7g
Sodium 6mg
Cholesterol 0 mg
(*in typing out this recipe, I've discovered a serving is 2 cups NOT the one I've been eating...so YAY! The points are even lower than I thought!)
Taco Casserole
1 lb ground skinless chicken breast (I used extra lean ground beef, ground turkey would work too)
1/2 c onions, chopped
1/2 c bell peppers, chopped
1 clove garlic
1 pkg taco seasoning mix
8 ozs taco sauce (I didn't know what this was, so it didn't go into the casserole I made)
1 c fat-free sour cream
1 c fat-free cottage cheese
1 c low-fat tortilla chips, whole or broken up (I used Multigrain Tostidos)
1 c low-fat cheddar cheese, shredded
3/4 c salsa
Directions:
Heat oven to 400. Spray cooking spray on bottom of a 2-quart casserole dish; set aside. In a skillet,
cook chicken, onion, peppers, and garlic clove until tender. Add seasoning mix and taco sauce;
set aside. In a medium bowl, combine sour cream and cottage cheese; set aside. Place half the
broken chips in the bottom of casserole dish. Add meat mixture to cover the chips, then cover the
meat with sour cream mixture. Sprinkle with cheese and remaining crushed chips. Bake,
uncovered, for 30 minutes or until cheese has melted. Top with 3/4 cup salsa if desired.
Makes 8 (1 Cup Servings)
Nutritional Info Per Serving:
287 Calories; 4g Fat; 25g Protein; 34g Carbs; 43mg Cholesterol; 2g Fiber; Points Plus+ 7
I am setting a short term goal for myself this week. I'm always too busy trying to see the big picture. Today I am setting a very short term goal for myself. Next week, I want to see a loss of 1.5 or more. Stay tuned to see if I can keep the promise to myself.
This week I haven't had much time to myself. I've been busy doing the "Mommy thing". James started pre-school and Piper has had three teeth break through virtually all on the same day, so needless to say she hasn't exactly been a happy camper. Brad will have worked 7 days straight as of Sunday. Five of those days will have been the day shift, so I haven't seen too much of him this week nor has he been around to help me out with preparing dinners and getting kids ready for their bedtimes. It isn't like I can't do it myself, but after a straight week of it, I'm ready to pull my hair out! Thank god for my parents being around to help. I know I've said this before but I really am grateful for all they do for us. They watched James and Piper on Wednesday for me so I could have an hour to go to my boot camp and again they watched Piper for me on Thursday so I could go to my Weight Watchers meeting. Stupid leader changing the meeting day on me, screwing everything up!!!
James has also been quite the handful as of late. Seems like every time I turn my back he's into something new. One day he had three time outs in the time span of an hour and a half. I think he's just testing me. I know I have to start laying down the law, I just don't know how. Is that odd? I'm horrible at discipline. It isn't that I don't want him to whine and cry, I just don't know where the lines are drawn as far as acceptable behaviour. I know really bad behaviour when I see it...James just really isn't that bad...in my eyes. So what do I let him get away with vs. what I shouldn't? Hmmmmmm....
Piper also has been...a handful this week. She's decided she's mobile! Piper can now get around pretty much on her own. Still not quite crawling yet, but she can move around like a ninja. She'll be in one place one minute, you take your eyes off her for a second and she's in a different place entirely. Last Tuesday I put her down in the middle of her bedroom floor and went into the next room to brush me teeth. She started fussing and crying rather angrily. I went to see what the problem was. She had gotten herself stuck. wedged actually, under her crib. It was a hard decision. Do I help her right away, or, run for the camera? Sadly, my better half got the best of me and I do not have a picture of that to show you.
Today was the first day in a week I was able to make it out for a run. It felt wonderful! I am now up to 18 minutes of running. Today I started with 8 minutes of running, 2 minutes of walking and finishing with 10 minutes of running. Close to the end of the 10 minutes I wanted to stop. I didn't. Apparently Trina joins me on my runs and yells motivation in my ears. I managed it and was so proud of myself! I'm getting there! Never thought I could make it this far. Still sceptical that I will actually be able to run a full 5k at one time. I think I'll throw an accomplishment party for myself when I do.
I've got two new recipes for you today too. Curried Butternut Squash and Apple Soup and a Taco Casserole. DELICIOUSNESS! James loved it until he discovered it had green peppers in it. Whoops.
Curried Butternut Squash and Apple Soup
It is to die for! Only 7 ingredients and 5 easy steps to make!
From The Best of Clean Eating
1 medium butternut squash
1 tbsp olive oil
1 small onion, chopped
2 tsp curry powder
1 tsp ground cinnamon
4 c water
1 apple, peeled, cored and chopped
Preheat oven to 425 F. Line baking sheet with foil
Cut squash in half lengthwise. Scrape seeds and strings out from the centre. Place squash, cut side down on baking sheet. Roast for 35-45 minutes or until the squash is softened. Remove from oven and let cool slightly.
When squash can be handled, scrape flesh into a bowl and discard the peel.
In a stockpot, heat oil over medium heat. Add onions and cook until translucent, about 5 minutes. Stir in curry powder and cinnamon; cook until fragrant. Add water, squash and apple; cook for 10 minutes. Remove from heat and let cool for 10-15 minutes.
Using a blender, puree soup until it's smooth.
2c serving
Calories 116
Total Fat 4g
Sat. Fat 0.3g
Carbs 22g
Fiber 4g
Protein 2g
Sugar 7g
Sodium 6mg
Cholesterol 0 mg
(*in typing out this recipe, I've discovered a serving is 2 cups NOT the one I've been eating...so YAY! The points are even lower than I thought!)
Taco Casserole
1 lb ground skinless chicken breast (I used extra lean ground beef, ground turkey would work too)
1/2 c onions, chopped
1/2 c bell peppers, chopped
1 clove garlic
1 pkg taco seasoning mix
8 ozs taco sauce (I didn't know what this was, so it didn't go into the casserole I made)
1 c fat-free sour cream
1 c fat-free cottage cheese
1 c low-fat tortilla chips, whole or broken up (I used Multigrain Tostidos)
1 c low-fat cheddar cheese, shredded
3/4 c salsa
Directions:
Heat oven to 400. Spray cooking spray on bottom of a 2-quart casserole dish; set aside. In a skillet,
cook chicken, onion, peppers, and garlic clove until tender. Add seasoning mix and taco sauce;
set aside. In a medium bowl, combine sour cream and cottage cheese; set aside. Place half the
broken chips in the bottom of casserole dish. Add meat mixture to cover the chips, then cover the
meat with sour cream mixture. Sprinkle with cheese and remaining crushed chips. Bake,
uncovered, for 30 minutes or until cheese has melted. Top with 3/4 cup salsa if desired.
Makes 8 (1 Cup Servings)
Nutritional Info Per Serving:
287 Calories; 4g Fat; 25g Protein; 34g Carbs; 43mg Cholesterol; 2g Fiber; Points Plus+ 7
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