Week 12 - A Cluttered Mind

In case you've been checking in, you may have noticed I haven't really blogged this week. I must admit, I haven't really journaled this week either. Not bad. This is the first time in the 6 weeks (I think we're on the 7th week of program) that I haven't journaled for the full 7 days. My motivation is still there. I just have other emotions that are over powering my will and need to lose weight right now.

It may seem like I'm about to go horribly off topic, but stick with me. We'll get to my point eventually. You'll see I have rather er..."strong" emotions about this subject.

We have been in our house for almost 5 years now. It is a cute little 59 year old story and a half. Typical for the city and area we live in. It was a lot of work initially re-decorating. There was a LOT of wall paper and most of the decor was right out of the groovy '60's and I've never been a Beatles fan. Cosmetically, the upstairs and main floor level are okay. Livable. Not what I envision, but that will come all in due time. Three years ago Brad renovated the bathroom. Took 7 months start to finish. I finally had to ask my Uncle for help with my Dad to at LEAST get a bathtub in. (THANK YOU UNCLE SCOTT!!! You'll never know how much that meant to me!) Normally wouldn't be an issue right? We've only got one bathroom.

Brad has great intentions. He's enthusiastic about starting jobs and "seeing" the "big picture". Getting there is the problem. Can YOU work in a space that looks like THIS?

Yep. This is what is being "worked on". I think he's in over his head. HOWEVER he won't ask for help. My Dad while sick, is still more than willing to help. The laundry room part is a total fire hazard:

Yep, notice the water heater in the back corner and the furnace amongst the junk. Safe huh?

Today I decided enough was enough. I've had it. I've officially reached my breaking point. I can't deal with the garbage (I spent an hour cutting up boxes for recycling) and the smell (I found an open bag of cat litter collections and dirty diapers waiting for garbage day). This is the area you see when you first come into my house. This is what sets the first impression for the rest of my house. I done with being embarrassed and pissed off. Starting today it is going to change.

A cluttered and messy home leads to a cluttered and messy lifestyle. I'm not faulting Brad for not coming home from work and working downstairs. I am faulting him for Sundays playing video games. I'm not okay with laziness and refuse to be dragged down into it. It doesn't really scream motivation to do stuff myself when the other person is sitting there playing games. ARUGH! He has no energy anymore and at 311 it is no wonder. I love him dearly I really do. He's got a heart of gold but somethings got to give. Letting it continue is acceptance and acceptance will lead to my own weight gain and I'm not okay with that.

Funny how your environment can effect your mood (talk to me about my motivation?) and eating habits. I haven't been exercising as of late because I'm constantly cleaning and tiding up. I hate left over dinner dishes. They get in the way. Okay. Maybe I'm anal and a clean freak but I can't live in mess or clutter. It leads to lethargy and I'm not lazy!

Now I'm rambling. I had a point in there. My head hurts and I can't think straight. James is asleep again so I'm off to the dungeon to get more done.