Week 1 - 4 pounds GONE!

Round two!

If anyone ever asks, I don't recommend getting pregnant. If there is another way to produce and give birth to your own biological child without labour and the nine months of hell...I'm all over that. I hated being pregnant. I hated the five months of morning sickness, the horrible clothes, not being able to play softball, the moodiness, the constant hunger and most of all...the 85 pounds of pure fat I put on. Of course in the end it was all worth it. I have a beautiful baby boy to show for it and he is a happy little guy. I think if he were colicy and just a holy terror I would have committed myself for the next 5 years. But he is great and is hard to be unhappy when he smiles up at me.

There are times however when not all is right with the world. I'll find myself starring at my little boy and I'll just start crying. I want to be happy for him. I don't blame him for the weight I put on. I knew what I was doing when I was doing it. I threw Weight Watchers to the wind and ate whatever and whenever I could. I was terribly depressed for the entire duration of my pregnancy and eating made it all better. At my final prenatal appointment (ironically 2 weeks before my due date and the day I started the whole labour process) I was 238.
Fortunately I lost 34 pounds right away. Huh...guess that is why 25-35 pounds is the "recommended" weight gain. I rejoined Weight Watchers on line in early November. I've since lost 7.4 pounds and have set a goal of 50 pounds by May...softball season. Seems impossible right? Especially considering seven years ago I lost 40 pounds in two years! I have pure determination. I have turned my self hate and loathing into determination and motivation. Emotional pain sets in, I wait for James' nap and exercise like I've never done before. I highly recommend Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shed. Yesterday was my first day and it was HARD. Sweat pouring down off me and today I hurt. Feels damn good.

The plan is to work out 5 days a week. Yoga at home 5 days a week (Tiffany COME BACK!). And write everything I eat down and stay within my point values every day. No days off. No weekends off. This time is serious. I can do this and I will do this. There will be no failing...it is not an option. Shit...what happens when Brad decides he wants another???

BREAKFAST
1c Multigrain Cheerios 2
Cherry Source Yogurt 1
Lots and lots of Coffee

LUNCH
1/2 Whole Wheat Pita 1.5
Large whole egg 2
1 slice smoked turkey breast 1
1/2 oz Cheese 1.5
Dill Pickle 0
Water

DINNER
Stay tuned for tomorrow!