How many times in a month or a week, or even a day have I been walking down the street or in the mall and see someone and think to myself..."Gah...I wish I looked like her"?
Lately that thought has been followed by..."I wonder who she wishes she looked like?". Way back before I got pregnant I would go to the gym five days a week for some cardio. There would be this gorgeous girl, tall, thin and pregnant. I'd look at her with great envy and was convinced I'd be like her when I was pregnant. Still go to the gym and look all glowy. A year passed. She came back from her mat leave and she was right back at it. You wouldn't even know she had just had a baby. To me she looked perfect. I wanted to be her. Then a thought occured to me. Two thoughts actually. First, she works really hard to maintain that figure and good for her. Second...I wonder who she wants to look like. I wonder what body part of hers she is unhappy with. I wonder what her motivation for being here is.
Funny to take it a step further. Right now I depereately want to look like someone else. I think I look horrible. My thighs look like peanuts again (I worked so hard for three years to get them to the point where I could wear mini skirts). I have a Mom pooch. My ass has the flat bubble part (I think I've managed to get rid of the "shelf" look), my upper arms are all waddly again. For all I know though, there could be someone out there wishing they looked like me, 4 months after having a baby. And even though THAT person is having those thoughts, chances are, there is someone out there wishing they looked like THAT person, and THAT person is wishing they looked like another person. It is a never ending vicious cycle. There is a comment Jillian Michaels makes on my dvd that drives me up the wall. She herself has killer abs and hips to die for. Behind her she's got two exercise junkies doing the routines along with her. Of course they are in perfect form and toned up shape. Jillian near the end of the tape comments "Hang in there ladies, we're all in this together". Each time I think to my self (and at times actually growl at the dvd) "No. No we're not. You're in this for the money. You don't need to be here jumping around, sweating like a pig. You try this with 50 extra pounds and being out of shape. You look perfect, I'm a lardass." Turn it around...who do they wish they looked like??
Yesterday didn't go as planned. Sorry Lisa, you spoke too soon. No vegetables for
Kim. Although, according to Brad, the toaster waffles I ate for dinner count as vegetables because they have blueberries in them. Did yoga while James slept in the afternoon. Then it was off to aerobics. Pleasantly surprised when it was decided we'd being doing a step class instead. Love the step class. Up down. Up down. Up down and trip. Worked up a sweat and was more beat up than normal on a Monday night. Didn't plan ahead so hadn't made dinner for when I got back. Ended up having three waffles...which I don't even like. Because I don't like waffles, I was unsatisfied and went off hunting for something else to eat. Settled for tortillas and nachos. Corn chips are surprisingly high in fat. So I blew yesterday. I've got four more days to make up for it though!
Breakfast
1c Multigrain
Cheerios
Black Coffee
Lunch
Egg
English Muffin
Dill Pickle
Dinner
Husband mentioned doing something with the roast beef in the fridge...I don't like not knowing...so maybe I'll figure something out.
Snack
Fiber One bar
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